Brene Brown studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk at TEDxHouston, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity.

Some of the major points that came out of this talk, were:

“When you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak’

It’s true isn’t it? Love, trust…whatever the word, we always remember the worst.

When we numb the bad emotions, we numb all the good ones too

You cannot ignore the bad stuff that goes on and then expect it to dissapear.

In order to appreciate the good stuff, we have to go through the bad. Countless times, people take others and things that they love for granted, and when the other people have had enough and they finally walk out, one is left with regret. And then in order to forget this regret, one would resort to alcohol and blame.

Another important point that struck me in this talk was how researchers define blame. Blame is the process of pushing the pain towards other person.

When I think back, it is kind of true. The times I have blamed people, are the times I was deeply hurt and in pain, and by blaming them, in a way, I wanted (or wished) for a part of that pain to go away. It didn’t. But, yea..

A great talk, I will look for the book that she has written. Maybe will search online for it. I figure it would be an interesting read.