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Dealing with Birthday People

At School I was this painfully shy person and can bet everything I own that hardly one or two souls would have heard me. Even during the VIVAs the teachers would call me up near and I would recite whatever it was that I had prepared in their ears, trembling like a leaf all the time!

So, obviously, had one or two people who talked to me. That were the days, before I found the voice!

But, it was in school time, I first came across what I refer to as “Birthday People”.  There were a group of people who became really friendly somewhere in the middle of November, we would share lunches, talk, laugh and have a gala time! But then as suddenly as they came, they turned cold on 11th December. I would get lukewarm responses every time I tried to join them, it was highly confusing, but eventually gave up trying.

Next year, again somewhere around middle of November these same set of people came up and apologized and were ‘friends’ till exactly December 11th, again the same thing repeated..

And it was then that I heard these other people talking that everything became clear! You see, in our classes, we had a list of people’s birthdays on the wall. So these people would be supper friendly to the people’s whose birthdays were coming up so that they get to eat the cake and get invited to the parties!! Once this was done, they had no other use of the person till next year, so they conveniently disappeared, only to reappear next year!

It was quite funny actually, once you know what they are up to! And gradually everyone realized what they were up to and it all stopped.

And I wrote it off as childish games.

But recently realized that these are not childish, but this behavior pattern repeats itself quite often in adulthood. It is just more advanced and makes it more serious. Because this time the intent is not just getting a CAKE!

And unfortunately, they are not easily identified as well.

They are the people who will come in your life, be your friend, gain your trust, and all the time there is something that they want from you at the back of their heads, once this intent is fulfilled, and you will find yourself wondering how the hell someone could be so ‘effin busy every time you try to contact them!

And then it hits you, the real reason of the so called ‘friendship’, and it would be hurting…very very hurting…to realize you have been just a piece in someone else’s game! And there is a good chance the person might never return, or like the birthday people, return when again they feel the ‘need’ of you.

Be careful, as this is very toxic and tends to make even the strongest of people be confused and broken! The thoughts of what happened and how did it happen so suddenly can swarm your mind. But during this time, it is important to not think about it, and just move on. It is harder said than done, but its much easier that way.

Also, check out this article to spot such people and avoid the messy scene altogether:

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/selfish-friends-6-ways-to-spot-them-before-you-get-hurt.html

Peace!

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4 thoughts on “Dealing with Birthday People”

  1. So very true. I find that some adults are in the habit of using friends as a source of entertainment and drama in their otherwise mediocre lives. I have friends who will suddenly warm up to me as the weekend approaches only so that I make plans with them to while away their time. Once their need is fulfilled, I never hear from them nor do I get company when I need it!

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