It was Rakshabandhan Yesterday and hoards of guests had come to our house.
As per my this post, all sly references to my getting married were ignored, this time especially as we were discussing about a cousin’s marriage these comments were bound to come. When someone asked “So, your turn is next!” or “When will you call us for a similar occasion”, instead of entertaining such BS, I just stopped conversation, looked at another person and started another conversation. This strategy has worked so far! Many took the hints and now know better to not interfere in the business that was never about them anyway! 🙂
Other than that, I was appalled that as it was Holiday and everyone was at home, I was the only one expected to ‘help’. I fail to understand what is that science in cooking and cleaning that brother cannot understand? Why a son is never expected to ‘help’ around the house, is it not his house also? It is not that I ENJOY the mopping and the sweeping, still I have to do it as good girls are supposed to help around the house. What are good boys supposed to do? NOTHING! How nice, na?
Another thing that REALLY got on my nerves was that I was expected to have my food AFTER the men have eaten, and had to serve them while they ate.
Now I have absolutely no problem in serving the old, the disabled, the needy or the poor. But as the men in the family were neither, I really could not understand WHY they could not fill up their own plates? What is so hard? You pick up the plate, put the food in it, sit, eat, get up and fill it again, repeat the process as many times you want.
And what is more, the men NEVER asked to be served! In fact, dad was adamant that he will make his own plate.
For this, I said, let’s have a buffet, were everyone would take their plates and eat together like a family.
The idea was appreciated and applied.
In a way that few ‘kids’ were told that they could fill up their plates from the buffet.
The men had their plates ready-made.
Not only did this increase the food wastage (as how would any body else know what I want to eat and how much I want to eat), it again reminded that no matter how much I try, patriarchy still keeps popping its ugly head every time.
On top of all this, the women (Not me, I took up my plate with the first lot, why should I stay hungry for anybody? What have they done to deserve this special place?) kept picking bowls from the buffet table and kept serving.
And finally those who prepared the food, ate it when it was cold and what was left.
Why can’t they see how wrong this all is?
Why am I labeled as a rebel for wishing my mom and aunties to be treated to be as important as others, especially by my mom and those aunties?
What is so glorious and romantic in staying hungry and serving? I have posted about his in detail here.
I get that in old times, men would go to farms early in the morning with a little food and come back tired, while women ,who used to be at home would have had lunch in the afternoon. So, when the men came back in the evening they would be hungry and so had their food early.
But now, men do not go to fields. They go to offices. So do women. So why this custom, which has obviously lost its value, continue to be practiced in the name of tradition? Why can’t people just THINK and decide what is right and what is wrong instead of just following others like a bunch of sheep?
Why, oh why, Patriarchy, don’t you just die!